Final Notice: Target - I Though this spam a HOOT!

Found this in my spam box. I thought it a hoot because the headline/leaderline was, "Final Notice: Target"

From:
"Final Notice"

To:
my email address here


=====Confirmed Alert======Confirmed Alert=====

Attention: my email address here

Confirmed for: Target Card

my email address here:

Your Target Card is ready for shipment, please complete the following:

http://124989029.erotic-friend-request.com/***


My Best,

Kurt Litte
Card List Manager

I didn't know Target sold Erotic Friends. Wonder what aisle they keep them on?


~~~~~
Technorati Tags
- Spam
- Porn
- Humor
~~~~~

Children, Chapstick, Cats and Motherhood

This one take the cake. Happy Mother's Day!

A Mothers Day story by Sylvia Carey

Why My Lips Stayed Chapped on Mother's Day


We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.



Well, we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves Chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my Chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my Chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.



Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally have the older one and and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my Chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end.

Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped."

Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your Chapstick on the cat's butt.

- Sylvia Carey

Technorati Tags -
Mother's Day -
Humor -
Funny -
Family -
Life -


~~~~~
Write in Cary Cartter for President in 2008
~~~~~

Jokes Are Not Funny Anymore!

I recieved this joke via email. From someone who will remain unnamed at this point in time because I do not wish his email box to be overflowing with hatemail. To those who wish all jokes to be against rocks, flowers and anything except dearly beloved vegetables or people please quit reading now.

You have been warned.

Joke follows:

Welfare in Mexico :

Question - When you apply for Welfare in Mexico what does the Government give you?

Ok. This is a riddle and not a joke. I know there is a difference. It is funny only if you have a twisted mind. You will laugh only if you think that humans are less than human. You won't laugh if are of the mindset that jokes that utilize people in any way, shape, manner or form are uncaring and cruel.

Like those firemen that that gave their co-worker dogfood. You know. The guy that accused his co-workers of being racists. If you are on his side and think he deserved 2.7 million dollars because his nickname was 'Big Dog' click the X in the upper right corner NOW.

~~~~~

Still here? Good. I hope to "Keep out the riffraff" as Roger Dahlhjelm said. (Running a search won't work. You have to buy the book or email me. I read the book.)

It is questions like this that make you realize that although you are not racist at heart you do enjoy jokes that hit people where they live. Be it in the country either you or they live in. Doesn't matter which. You don't consider being from a particular country as belonging to a particular race.

Ok. Enough space on this post has occurred so that those who love riddles and don't want the punch line revealed right away (so they can think about and guess the answer to prove to themselves (***No one else wants to be around them so they only have themselves to prove it to***) that they are really smart even though nobody else wants to be around them etc....


This is for you....

~~~~~
Oh Darn! Where did that email/punchline go?

Scheesh! I opened and closed to many windows.

Oh, Here it is!
~~~~~

Answer - A map of the United States !!!

prying1 sez:
Hope you remembered the original question.

If not perhaps you should have clicked the X when I said to.

Technorati Tags -
Humor -
Jokes -
Racism -