(From ACK News Service) June 23, 2012 - Today, Gene Poole, AlGore's right hand person, announced that the war on global warming has been won. Said Mr. Poole through his secretary, Helen Back:
"We've finally managed to get a controlling hold on greenhouse gases. The earth is now cooling and doing so faster than we anticipated. In fact so much so that large sections of the jungles in South America, Africa and Asia are dying off for lack of carbon dioxide. The growth of the ice packs and glaciers is not helping either. We are now directing our efforts at getting people to leave a larger carbon footprint. Mr AlGore is doing his part by leaving all the lights on in all his mansions 24 hours a day. We politely request everyone on earth do the same. Oh! And if you must fly please do so in a private jet. Thank you.
Ileane Left, spokesperson for 'No More Carbon', an environmentalist group, said, "We didn't know that all life on Mother Earth is carbon based. I blame it on our school system for not teaching us that. Sorry for the damage we've done. But no, we are not giving back the donations we've collected. We will need that money to rent private jets."
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