Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Capitalism Works in Hell!

Socialists! You are hereby put on notice that you will not escape capitalism even if you go to Hell and back. It truly is part of man's inherent nature. Yesterday saw proof of this by the goings on in Hell, Michigan.

On 6-6-6 the small town of around 72 people swelled to thousands as people decided to make a holiday of "The Devil's Day". Temperatures were in a humid mid 80's and trade was brisk. Chad Wines of nearby Pinckney, a sales clerk at Screams Ice Cream Parlor said, "We're making $1,000 every 12 minutes."

Merchandise was marketed in the spirit of the day. Small ice cream cones sold for 66 cents and a square inch of land in Hell, including an official deed, went for $6.66, as did a pizza at the Hell Country Store and a Bloody Cocktail at the Dam Site Inn.

John Colone, Hell's unofficial Mayor, said he wished they had thought of the party idea back in January instead of just a month ago. They were not as prepared as they should have been. Commemorative t-shirts that said Hell on the front and "Once in a Lifetime 6-6-6, June 6, 2006" on the back sold quickly. Around 3200 t-shirts by mid afternoon and at 4:30 a truck rolled up with only 500 more.

Everyone was in a partying mood except for a group of Christians that apparently had not learned how to market Jesus. Standing across the street and carrying signs they missed the opportunity to join the partygoers, to build friendships, relationships and discuss who the final victor is in the Book of Revelation. - I have to wonder if this group looked like they were sucking on lemons.

Here is more about the goings on in Hell on 6-6-6.

Once again a message to socialists. Your philosophy of government is not even accepted in Hell. Don't even try to bring it to Paradise.
Update: This little piece appeared on 6/20/2006 at the WZZM13 News Coverage website -

HELL, Mich. (AP) - The unofficial mayor of Hell is on the hot seat for a party some residents say got out of hand.

Hundreds of people flocked to the Livingston County hamlet to commemorate June sixth, 2006. Three sixes signify the devil according to some Bible interpretations.

Some residents have complained to Putnam Township officials about public urination, blocked roadways and other incidents during the celebration.

Event organizer John Colone has received most of the blame. He says he didn't know what kind of crowd to expect, but has agreed to apologize at Wednesday's township board meeting.

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